What it’s like to be a Therapist

After a particularly good session with a client the topic of what it’s like inside my head during a session came up.  It has been something I have been thinking about and marveling at for a while. The reason for this was because I had not known this was what being a therapist was like when I first chose this career path.  Sure, I might have been seventeen and naive at the time, but that doesn’t explain why I didn’t realize it until only recently. As I explained it to the client, they were as amazed and surprised as I had been when it entered my realm of awareness.

When you think about a therapist, you picture them sitting in a room and talking to people.  Sometimes they write things down. Sometimes they ask weird questions or maybe the stereotypical, “and how does that make you feel?” while the client is laying on a couch, staring at the ceiling.  Seems kind of easy and relaxing when you think about it that way.

However, hidden beneath that easy conversation is a powerful information processing ninja (I use ninja because you don’t see it!).  You see, there is a lot that goes on in a session for the therapist. They must attend to what the client is saying, the meaning of what they are saying, body language, what isn’t the client saying, how is the therapist reacting to the client, what theories or approaches might best help the client, what question or statement will be most helpful, what information will be most helpful, how does this related to something they said 1, 3, or 10 sessions ago, what are possible solutions or interventions would be helpful, how does this meet the client’s goals for therapy, etc.  All within a matter of minutes if not seconds! The client could say something else and the thought process completely shifts down another lane.

If there is more than one client, let’s say a couple, multiply that process by two and add other considerations such as how is each person perceiving a statement, how do their ideas come together, how does this meet individual and joint goals, how is one person responding to the other, what does that mean, referee, attend to both equally, allow both to speak, how do I end this on a good note, and oh, look at the time!

That’s the shortened version. There are so many more things I could add, but this is enough to get the idea.

Since this is the information age, perhaps it would be helpful to look at it this way.  Say the therapist is a computer connected to the internet, which might be all the information, experiences, and knowledge they hold.  When they sit down with a client, the home page pops up. As the session goes on, the therapist opens more and more tabs in that window based on what the client says, does, experiences, etc.  The therapist has to keep track of each tab; opening new ones, closing others, pulling information out and giving to the client. It’s really quite a remarkable feat! And it’s all for the client.

Now, this may not be true for all therapists, and it might feel differently for some.  Maybe the way they do therapy allows them to use less tabs. But, a lot of what a therapist does is process information and relate it to relevant information, knowledge, and training to help their clients live their best lives and overcome their struggles.

Next time you see your therapist out in public and they’re looking really ragged, remember how much information processing they’re doing all day.  That will wear even the best therapists out! But know, we do it because we love it, and we love helping people like you.