How to Make Difficult Choices

Life is filled with many choices.  Some are relatively easy to make like what to where, your favorite color, or what you want to eat for dinner (okay, maybe that last one isn’t so easy).  Some choices, those life changing choices, are more difficult. Choices like what you want to be when your grow up, who you want to marry, what job to take, or where to live.  These harder topics require you to make a choice based on more than just personal preferences and gut feelings. For some, making a pros and cons list is enough to find the answer.  However, at times you might feel backed into a corner, at a dead end or crossroads, or feel like your path is leading you nowhere. Pros and cons are not merely enough.  

When preferences, facts, and gut feelings fail us in the decision making process, it’s important to turn to our values.  Values are what we hold important in life that inform our principles or standards of living and guide our behavior. Values include ideas such a freedom, autonomy, justice, kindness, success, family time, fostering relationships, etc.  When faced with difficult choices it is helpful to examine what you hold dear; that is, what is really important to you and your life.

Each individual will have different values with different levels of importance.  Asking the opinions of others may seem helpful, but as each person holds different values they will arrive at different answers.  Therefore, look inward at what is truly important to you. Once you have named your values, arrange your them into a hierarchy, with the most important at the top of the list.  Finally, apply each value to your unique situation. Naturally, the one at the top will hold more weight but the others are also important. There is no right way to make a decision based on your values.  For example, one choice may align with your highest value but another may incorporate more values. You must weigh the options against what is best for your life, or how you wish to live your life.

Values are an important component in developing a philosophy of life.  Without knowing it, we all develop our own unique philosophy of living.  A philosophy of life gives us guidance on how best to live the one precious life we have.  It is a mixture of how (values) and what (a goal). Ask yourself, “what is my goal in life?  What do I want out of life?” Life goals might include: a connected family, financial stability, success at work, to be a good person, or to help people, to name a few. Once you have this answer, ask yourself, “Which value-informed choice will get me closer to this goal?”  The answer on which path to choose becomes apparent by following your values toward an overriding life goal. A well developed philosophy of life can guide your way through any difficult situation.

Originally posted on Mind Mastery Lab.