Liberated by Love

It’s been a little while since I read Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages:  The Secret to Love That Lasts, though I talk about it frequently with couples and individual clients alike.  One quote from this book has been bouncing around my head lately.  That quote is, “True love always liberates” (p. 142).  I’ve been dwelling upon this quote for a while now; pondering what it means.  How does love liberate?  In what way does love do this?  What does the love liberation look like?

As human beings, we have an emotional need to be loved.  Being loved is critically important.  Just as it is to be fed, well slept, shelter, or psychical safety.  Being loved is a psychological need that promotes mental and emotional well-being.  This is not the only psychological need we have though.  Chapman explains other psychological needs include security, self-worth, and significant.  Love permeates these needs.  We feel secure when we are with our partners, knowing they would never do us harm and wish us no ill will.  When we are loved, we know someone has our back.  Love also contributes to our sense of self-worth.  We feel worthy because someone sees in us something worth loving.  They validate what we love about ourselves and show us parts of ourselves we didn’t know was lovable.  Love by another contributes to our self-esteem.  Finally, love tells us we are significant.  Being loved tells us there is something special about us; something unique.  After all, there are billions of people in this world and this person picked you.  Nothing says special quite like being someone’s number one choice!

It is through love and its influence on our needs to feel secure, worthy, and significant that we are liberated.  But what does that mean exactly?  It means were are free to be ourselves.  We feel secure enough because of this love to not only show our partner who we are, but the world as well.  Even if the world rejects us, we know there is always a safe haven in the one we love and are loved by to go to.  There is security in knowing that you can be who you are and be loved.  This security allows us to take risks and to follow our dreams because have a constant support system along the way.  Being loved for who we genuinely are contributes to our self-worth and tells us, you are worthy JUST AS YOU ARE.  You are worthy just for being you.  A sense of self-worth breeds confidence.  With this confidence we can pursue and achieve our goals.  We are free to try new things, have new experiences, go on adventures, and even if we fail, retain our worth.  Finally, being love reaffirms we are significant.  It gives us the courage to be real, authentic beings and live our life in accordance with who we are and what we believe in.  Love is a truly freeing experience.

How have you been liberated by being loved?  Leave a comment and let us all know of your liberation!