A month ago, none of us could have expected to be facing a global pandemic. As time goes on, the effects of increased anxiety, stay-home orders, loss, and financial instability creeps into our everyday lives. Unsurprisingly it’s also having an impact on intimate relationships. Coupling and long term relationships require work under the best of…
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A common fear in the dating world is whether you are being “too picky” or if you are “settling” when it comes to choosing a partner you will spend the rest of your life with. Sometimes, both fears are held at once. Whether you fear you are settling or being too picky, the fear is…
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Once you’ve discovered what trust is and how it works, you can then learn how to build trust in relationships. Hopefully examples from a classic Disney movie can help me explain how to build trust in another person. Please direct your attention to the movie Aladdin (or re-watch it to refresh your memory). There are…
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Often I see couples and individuals coming in and saying, “We want to rebuild trust” or “I want to be able to trust them again/more.” However, frequently these clients do not fully understand what they are actually asking for. When confronted with the question of “how do you think you do that?” or “what does…
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Stoic Week 2019 Thursday, October 10th, 2019 Theme: Community: Relationships with Other People and Society Morning Reflection: Affection for others is part of our nature; beginning in the family we are born into and expressed to others as we age. This affections can be directed toward ourselves and flows outward to others so that we…
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I see many couples and individuals who come to me saying things like, “the spark is gone in our marriage,” “I love him, but I’m not ‘in love with him’’, or “my feelings for her have changed over the years.” If this resonates with you, you are not alone. In fact, these kinds of feelings…
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When I’m in a session with a couple or an individual who comes to me to work on a relationship issue, it is not uncommon for one of the early sessions to involve discussing the 5 Love Languages. I know, you’re probably thinking, “what is it with this woman and her obsession with this book/idea?!?!”…
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Pages: 244 Ideal Reader: Sexually active individuals in long term relationships, Couples, Relationship therapists Ideal Issues: Difficulty talking about sex/sexuality with significant other Differences in sexual desires within a relationship Wanting more passion and sex with a partner Changes in sex after marriage or children Desire to keep sexual passion alive in long term…
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It’s been a little while since I read Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, though I talk about it frequently with couples and individual clients alike. One quote from this book has been bouncing around my head lately. That quote is, “True love always liberates” (p. 142). I’ve…
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Gary Chapman proposes that there is an expiration date on “obsessional love.” This love is that “falling in love” feeling complete with warm fuzzies and a desire so spend every waking moment with one’s significant other. It is charged with emotion and chemistry. However, as suggested in his book, The Five Love Languages: The Secrets…
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Heather is an Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who unites systemic therapy with philosophical concepts. She has interests in Couples therapy, Consensual Non-Monogamy, Veteran Couples/Caregivers/Family, Philosophical Counseling, Sex therapy, and how to live a good life. Learn more about her here
