Recently, I was watching My Little Pony Friendship is Magic with my children. One particular episode titled, “Putting Your Hoof Down,” (S2E19) addressed assertiveness. In it, a very shy and soft spoken pony, Fluttershy, was being pushed aside and taken advantage of while shopping in the market. She decided to take a class on how…
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Perfectionism is the pursuit of “perfect” where anything less is failure. It requires constant judgement of oneself or others, and demands nothing less than 100%. It is living by a set of impossible standards. These standards might be self-imposed based on a belief that that’s what others want, imposed by others onto us, or imposed…
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We all have expectations on how our relationships with others are supposed to work. However, the reality is that our expectations are very rarely met. Things beyond our control impact our relationships with others such as stress from work, different upbringings, cultural beliefs and values, and personality differences. These can all interfere with our expectations…
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Caring for a loved one with a mental or physical injury or illness is often a thankless job. Its exhausting, stressful, time consuming, frustrating, and draining. Often it’s not a job one chooses to do, but nevertheless, it needs to be done. And it’s often done with pride and love. While caregiving for a loved…
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Sisu can be understood as a characteristic, a spirit, an attitude, an approach, or a philosophy of life. What these descriptions all have in common is that they are enduring, consistent, and most of all, take daily practice to grow, manage, and develop over time. Sisu doesn’t develop out of grand accomplishments. It takes daily…
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Recently I was explaining sisu (pronounced see-sue) to a client and how it may be helpful to them in accomplishing their therapeutic goals and overcoming obstacles. I explained sisu as an “enduring strength of will” which helps one to overcome and succeed in the face of adversity by taking a challenge head on. This is…
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Recently someone asked me, “How does counseling work?” It wasn’t until that question that I realized therapy is a rather mysterious experience. Sometimes it honestly seems like magic happens because its difficult to pinpoint what exactly creates lasting change and growth in therapy. The short, mechanical answer to the question, “How does therapy work?” is…
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After a particularly good session with a client the topic of what it’s like inside my head during a session came up. It has been something I have been thinking about and marveling at for a while. The reason for this was because I had not known this was what being a therapist was like…
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Pages: 225 Ideal Reader: Someone looking for a holistic practical approach to better mental health and overall well-being. Ideal Issues Addressed: Personal Growth Mild Anxiety & Depression Disconnecion from Nature Alternative coping strategies for mental health concerns to combine with therapy. Summary: This book provides a practical “guide” or suggestions to creating and having a…
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The way we speak is often a reflection of how we view the world, ourselves, and others. Words are used to shape our perceptions in order to understand people, their motives, and their intentions. Words are used to communicate and to think. However, some of these words that are commonly used are a danger to…
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Heather is an Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist who unites systemic therapy with philosophical concepts. She has interests in Couples therapy, Consensual Non-Monogamy, Veteran Couples/Caregivers/Family, Philosophical Counseling, Sex therapy, and how to live a good life. Learn more about her here
