My Stoic Thoughts: Day Five Stoic Week 2020

Stoic Week 2020

Friday, October 23rd, 2020

Theme:  Emotions

Stoics are not emotionless, contrary to popular belief.  If they were, I’d be a horrible Stoic as I frequently experience Joy, delight, contentment, excitement, and wonder.  Instead of being emotionless, Stoics distinguished between both good emotions and bad emotions or passions.  Passions are misguided feelings that sprout from thinking that happiness is dependent on attaining or keeping indifferents.  Passions can occur as intense feelings expressed outwardly or inner instability and conflict.  Anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger are often names for these misguided passions and focus on things outside our own control.  These feelings reach beyond the present (toward both a past we cannot change or a future we cannot know) and distracts us from what is right in front of us and within our control.  For example, anxiety over worrying about what another person is thinking of you can rob you of a lovely experience between two souls, such as a deep conversation or the physical expression of love (aka SEX!).

The Stoics identified three main good emotions; wish, caution, and joy.  Sure, two of them seem kinda lame but bear with me a moment.  These emotions are based on the understanding that happiness depends on the virtues and understanding what happiness really is.  They tend to be experienced as calmer, more stable, and consistent feelings.  The three Stoic emotions include:

Wishing – feeling positive about your doing something worthwhile.  (personal example:  helping my clients, becoming certified in sex therapy and consensually non-monogamous relationships, not becoming angry or hurt by mysoginists on the internet and instead responding with wisdom, justice, courage, and self-control.)

Caution – distaste for doing something that feels wrong.  (personal example:  conducting myself unethically at work or not responding with kindness to others I meet going about my day).

Joy – pleasure at a fine act done by you or someone else. (personal example:  joy in other’s personal growth or learning something new, displaying courage, or responding with reason and love to those who do not show the same respect).

The wonderful thing about Stoic emotions is that they can be worked toward.  They are not merely at the whim of the world around us.  They are internally based and experienced through the practice of the virtues and Stoic psychological practices such as the dichotomy of control, removing the sting of insults, and managing our value judgements.  Over time, this will lead you to become less negatively emotionally reactive (no more getting upset and yelling when things go wrong), experiencing more positive emotions during trying times (finding joy in your ‘Rona Blessings), and feel more stable and consistent in mood (peace of mind my dudes!).  Through practice, you can become an expert in finding the silver lining, experience more joy with less weighing you down, and foster greater empathy, affection, and love for those around you.

I have experienced these changes in my own life and that is why I love to share Stoicism with as many as I can.  My client’s are probably getting pretty sick of me mentioning it.  (haha, I know you all love it!).

(This is a brief summary of my thoughts inspired by prompts during Stoic Week and do not fully encompass everything on Stoic emotions.  I highly encourage you to learn more, leave comments, and add to this conversation!)